Or “What not to shop during Valentine’s Week”.
13 February 2008, Valentine’s Eve. I was told by my mother to round up her Free Gift with Point Redemption which turned out to be a Royal VKB Chef Knife (she was aiming for the cleaver, but the fell 10 points or so short of the target). After handing me an additional grocery list (which was thankfully short), she sent me forth to… buy.
The redemption counter was next to the entrance so I went there, got my gleaming knife, and made for the supermarket proper, which promptly sent me back to the door. Valentine’s Eve meant that the teenage/besotted-people population of the supermarket tripled the triplicate; chattering and giggling crowds spilling out from the chocolate/confectionery section onto the next ten aisles to the east and west.
So I ducked into the nearest empty aisle which was the household chemicals aisle, and grabbed the largest can of mosquito repellent available (yes, rainy season equals annoying buzzing sounds morning, noon and night).
Deciding that mum could do without her groceries for a day, I stepped onto the paying line. I placed the chemical on the cashier’s table, only to belatedly realise that it rose up above and was completely surrounded stacks of chocolates and other valentine accoutrements belonging to groups of assorted females and males.
The next mistake was to engage the groups of valentine hopefuls in a prolonged eye contact. Their eyes visibly travelled from mine, to the insect-killing grade A chemical in its tin can, to the gleaming 8″ blade in my hand. It was the oddest thing ever as dozens of men and women around me blatantly stared, as if it was open season on my psych.
Oh well, what the heck. Might as well.
“Yeah, he could be such a bastard.”
