Disclaimer the First: don’t expect this to be a structured essay on anything. this is more a blather than anything else, a stream of consciousness of a very confused mind. Read with caution, and expect to come out at the end of this with a headache.

Disclaimer the Second: this is not about how to use Plurk, that is: no technical advice to be found anywhere on this page. This is about my life with Plurk, three weeks worth of it.

Those who know me, and know me well, know that I am all about procrastination. So, unsurprisingly, I am ecstatic to have found a thing called Plurk. And it doesn’t take long to get addicted. And unlike many other things, I skipped the denial phase, and went straight to the unrepentant card-carrying addict. For me, it’s not a Shakespearean “to plurk or not to plurk”, it’s more “to plurk or to plurk even more”.

What is plurk, you ask? What animal is it? How do you use it? For this, I refer you to the great wisdom of these wonderful people: Leonnie, Imansyah, Ivan Lanin, Teeg, Rheta, Plurktionary, and Indonesian Plurkers Wiki Site.

The Addiction
A lot of people who have tried Plurk, said Plurk is addictive. But I’ve since then realized that Plurk itself is not addictive. The fact that it facilitates mindless, endless procrastination is what makes Plurk what it is, in my eye at least.

Plurk is somewhat different from the other things it is accused of resembling: Twitter or Tumblr. Or other things I am not aware of (nor do I want to, really). The much vaunted Plurk timeline I can do without, having proved it by gleefully ‘abusing’ the mobile version on my computer. The message threading thing, though, is wonderful.

I must also mention the insane refresh rate, which makes plurk-posting and response-reading/writing almost-realtime (when Plurk servers are sane, and not driven up the proverbial wall by traffic and bugs, that is). I think it is what makes Plurk more than just a micro-blogging site. It transforms Plurk into a new-age mIRC with loosely defined threads which you can choose to follow, unfollow, mute, block, and mark all as read.

(P.S. Mark All has become a mini-celebrity in Plurkdom, I guess. A lot of people has and will continue to invoke his name when things, or plurks, get out of hand. I mean… a million new plurks and a gazillion new plurk responses? You’re bound to go get help).

Now you know why it enhances procrastination. It fuels the addiction. Every time I say “That’s it! No more Plurk for me! I’ve read everything! I’ve asked for Mark All’s help!”, as soon as I think everything’s over… a new response popped up. And another, and another, and another.

Then, I wondered why I even bothered with Plurk in the first place. But I do this (this act of wondering and thinking out loudly) while submitting myself to the warm stream of friends plurking about anything and nothing.

The Constant Chatter of the Masses
A new friend, greytfriend, likens Plurk to a dormitory. Open 24 hours, the building that never sleeps. And those are no strangers, the people in your timeline. They are friends. Friends who welcome you with equal parts of love and craziness, sometimes with a dash of trepidation. Friends… the people who make you come back for more. This is another kind of addiction, too. Friends.

Imagine Plurk devoid of friends, devoid of people to fuel my narcissistic tendencies — my need to be heard, or the need to be fooled into a sense that I’m being heard…

Now you see.

The Karma-nifesto
Now, there is also a sub-species of Plurk called Karma. This is a source of distress for many. In short it goes like this: the more karma you get, the more perks you receive. Funky emoticons, colour choices, timeline personalisations. You name it.

It is good that it helps new plurkers acclimatise: giving a little at a time helps them focus on the basics. But, since plurk is a simple application to start with, the basics are mastered with great efficiency. The karma, however, rises too slowly for comfort. Those impatient enough will start to aim for karma almost feverishly, doggedly, slavishly, to the point of obsession.

And as they say, once you’ve passed the point… there is no return. Personally, I have always felt the dread of impending obsession, even from the first few days of plurking. And really, now, once I’m hooked, it is an uphill struggle to break free. It becomes an inseparable part to the quest for perfect procrastination. A low karma rise meant I haven’t procrastinated enough… that sort of thing.

Procrastination: A Full Circle
For me, foremost, Plurk is still and probably will always be an agent of procrastination. Above the karma, but obviously not above the friends (they are of course, the spice of all life). In a sense Plurkrastination is something of a group thing. When a group of people, who already have problems with procrastination in the first place, comes together in a place of so much fun… the rest is mere footnote.

I’m sure Plurk is infinitely more than just an agent of procrastination. It has been a place to meet new people, network (because, really, that’s what social networking is all about, right?), and also a place to find exciting information when you least expect it (I admit this is hard, having to wade through a lot of junk).

But when you see how a lot of people say “I need to get off Plurk and start working, do my job, go out, go to work, get a life, a real life, etc etc…” in a million different sentences and a dozen or so different languages… you know how it appeals to the procrastinators lurking deep within us. And I for one is extremely grateful; happy for not being the only person on the planet who thinks so.

And now, all that’s left for me to do is to let out the battle cry: “Plurkrastinators… UNITE!”